Wow, What a week!

So I worked like crazy last week, even a 4am shift (meaning I got up at 3am) so I'd have 4 days off over the Friday - Monday weekend...  I went to Disneyland Friday morning and left Sunday afternoon..Then I had to work the next 3 days. I didn't get Monday off >.< So lame.  Anyways Disneyland was freaking awesome. There was always so much stuff going on, and the constant playing music just set the mood for a smile. We ate at every normal meal time, and all the meals were huge! The Mexican food sucked though, nothing like Filiberto's :) . The boyfriend tried something called a Monte Cristo for lunch one day.... It was INCREDIBLE. O.O I wish I had gotten it. So the last night we were there, we stayed out pretty late in the park and went on quite a few rides... Some how in the mix I had lost my wallet. :( With everything inside of it [at Disneyland!Ugh NowI'mnevergoingtofindit!! >.<"] including $180 and both of our park passes! We searched absolutely everywhere and couldn't find it, or even imagine where it could have happened. We were screwed. So we went and made a claim at the Lost & Found and sulked the rest of the way back to the hotel. It was about 1- 1:30 am at that point and we were exhausted, since we woke up at 6:30! The next day we were too beat to wake up with the rest of the fam, so we stayed back and slept [MUCH NEEDED!!]. When we awoke hours later I had a voice mail saying they had found a possible wallet...!!! It was mine and had everything in it! Woohoo! So amped! We didn't even go on any more rides that day, just shopped, and made it home just quick enough. :)
So Since then I've been working, yesterday was my day off and I'm going to work in a few hours from now. Excited about Ink-N-Iron coming up in June! Definitely going to try to buy tickets as soon as I get my new card. :/
Things have been going well lately, I hope they continue to .. :)

xx

Decided.

Today already started off as one of those "decided" days. I'm tired as fuck but have to go to work in about 5 mins. Ugh. As soon as I woke up, I knew I needed to go back to the mall to get those freaking cute shoes I saw. Which I did. buy one pair get the second for $10. Sounded good to me. Even though I still spent 50. Hah.  I forgot to mention in my last post that I've been really irritated with the fact that I haven't accomplished the red hair that I've desired. It always comes out too pink, or too orange. Well, not this time! For I have found a reliable (or so I've heard) red dye that won't cause me to go bankrupt. So, as soon as my hair gets a bit longer, I'm going for it. Thus meaning I am not re-dying my hair black anymore! :p

Bleh, off to work

xx

I love being a Dame!

So, it's decided. I'm feeling a little bit better with myself lately. I've still been working a lot but with my time off I've been trying a littler harder to make myself happy.. I could try harder though. Money is such a hassle. I don't see how I can live with no money, yet when I make money it's gone like I didn't even have it... and I'm still living the same way??? Boyfriend is now 21. That's odd. I don't know if I really like it that much yet... or maybe it's just the fact that he always has a beer in his hand now.. I understand it's exciting to turn 21... but you'll be able to buy alcohol for the rest of your life now so who needs a drink every day? I hope I don't lose someone in the process.
It's confirmed that I'm going to start modeling. I'm determined. It's definitely going to include a lot of goals.. So I'm really hoping that I can accomplish them. And money... lots of money will be needed. Ha! So it will give me plenty of time. I'm hoping to get a good jump start at least for the summer though. I've been collecting along the way so it shouldn't be too expensive.... ha, who am I kidding? Of course it will be! Especially considering the prices of vintage clothing (since the best place to find it is online imo.) I'd love to sit here and blog about my plan to become successful in modeling, but I know how the game works, and there are way too many people waiting to just step on you and claw their way to the top. I'm even skeptical about sharing my ideas with a friend (that I adore) that is also wanting to start modeling.
Basic plan:

• Save money while improving my attitude and daily habits (smoking, eating, lack of exercise, etc)
• Buy all necessities: wardrobes including undergarments, makeup, hairstyling needs, SHOES
• Gain more knowledge along the way on Vintage hair, makeup, clothing, cars, and music. 
• Get more comfortable in front of someone else taking photos, and the camera itself. 
• Hopefully gain insight on who I am. 

On another note: I'm going to Disneyland for THREE days this weekend with park hopper passes, and a suit in the Disney Hotel! I'm going with my boyfriend and his more than generous family. They are great people and I'm so excited to play a part in this soon to be great memory. <3 I'm so excited!!! Not to mention, that means 4 days off of work! Hell yeah!

People have been driving me nuts lately, and they haven't even needed to say anything to irritate me. It's mostly all of the hypocrisy that has been floating around the kids in my age group. Things as simple as the style of clothing people claim. Like really, there's one person in particular that proves my point to a T. When I met him, he was cool, he was dark and devious, and had his own sense of style.. until he fell into what was popular (weather he tried or not).It's just too obvious that he lets other people's opinions change his own. Like I was saying, he used to fit into the "goth" stereo-type.. and then moved on to "punk"... and then moved onto "raver" and then moved onto "rockabilly/pyschobilly" ... and now looks like a total "bro". It seems to me that it only happened because of the people he was around at the time and that drives me nuts! It's too obvious who I'm talking about, and I kind of feel bad but I'm only speaking *typing* the truth as I see it so I'm just going to end it here. And people getting stupid ugly tattoos? What's with that?! All over their bodies? Does no one have self respect these days? :/ GAHH.
Now I'm just ranting so I better go get ready for work. *eyeroll*

xx

*sigh*

I don't know how to feel these days, I'm definitely STILL in this rut... Ugh, I'm so over it, too. Amongst other things. *groan* Too much shit has been going on lately and I'm tired of neglecting myself. I need me time, but can't get any due to my work schedule and home life. How am I even going to change things?

Mother's day sucked. I miss you so much, Mom, I never expected it... and I can still barely believe it. It's one of the worst feelings I've experienced so far. I wish I could say it would go away :/ or better yet, I wish you could tell me that. I think about you every day. More than rainbows and butterflies.

Everyone is either a fake or a hypocrite these days. I'm sick of it.

Anyways I should Probably try to go to sleep, next to my passed out boyfriend, since I have work again tomorrow.

I miss you.<23

Sorry for the ramblings, too many thoughts, not enough words.

xx